It’s difficult to know how to help a troubled teenager, especially since many teens aren’t open with their parents. Understand that their lack of openness is not your fault. Many times it’s not even all their fault.
On the contrary, it’s more of a reflection of them not knowing how or not wanting to express their emotions. So how do you help troubled teens when they don’t want to be helped? How can you get them to open up?
We understand you know how to parent your child. We’re just here to simply provide the psychological and medical insight necessary to help your troubled teen. Here is a complete guide on how to help a troubled teenager without pushing them farther away.
What Makes a Teen Troubled?
There are cornucopias circumstantial occurrences that have a profound impact on a child’s psyche. Taking notice of any of the following things that make a teen troubled can help you act proactively on their behalf.
Parental Separation
If one or both of their parents have been removed from the home in some capacity, it could cause mental trauma. Again, this isn’t the fault of the parents. These things happen and it can be difficult to convey these reasons to a teen who may be confused about the situation. This can make them isolate from family or cause them to lash out at friends, you, or other loved ones. If parental separation causes negative indifference in your child, our therapists help you open modes of communication through family or group therapy.
Peer Pressure
Teens face an unprecedented amount of peer pressure in their social environments at school today. These social stresses have different effects on different people; some positive and some negative. Since the brain’s prefrontal cortex is still developing in teens, it can put their minds in a troubling state. This portion of the brain, responsible for regulating emotions and discernment, becomes uncertain of what emotion or decision to make. As a result, their anxiety levels rise and can destabilize other regions of their brain. This troubled state manifests itself in a variety of behavioral cues.
Preexisting Mental Health Conditions
Though some mental health conditions aren’t diagnosable until young adulthood, other mental condition symptoms can manifest during your teen years. These underlying mental health conditions consist of depression, anxiety, or other mood or personality disorders. These have trickle-down effects on the behavior of many troubled teens.
In these cases, it’s important to be understanding of the fact that it is not their fault. That’s not to say they are not accountable for their actions, but they need therapeutic assistance to get them back on track. With the proper tone, message, and love, you can be the voice of reason guiding them to our compassionate team.
Drug or Alcohol Abuse
Bullying
Unfortunately, bullying plays a key role in many of our children’s lives. Being bullied at school causes the abused to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or angry at their school life. These experiences play a key role in producing many troubled teens. The saddest part is when a child is being bullied, parents are often unaware because their children are uncomfortable sharing. As bullying intensifies, a child can become more and more troubled, causing them to lash out due to emotional overwhelm.
Abusive Home Situations
Not all forms of abuse at home are obvious. Even physical abuse can go unnoticed by a parent or sibling. Sadly, more silent forms of mental and emotional abuse can be prolonged for long periods without any family members noticing. This is a scary fact that requires all family members to be observant and ask questions that may be hard. These forms of abuse usually inflict the most toll on a teenager’s psyche and require serious therapeutic attention to recover.
What are Common Signs of a Troubled Teenager?
Thankfully, almost all indications of a troubled teen manifest themselves in behavioral cues, both loud and silent. Taking note of the following signs can also show you how to help a troubled teenager.
Unfounded Irritability
Almost all troubled teens have a habit of lashing out at simple questions or minor disturbances in their lives. This lashing out comes in the form of a bad attitude, raised voice, or very apparent agitation in their voice. This also expresses itself in standoffish and aggressive body language. Be observant of these unnatural behaviors as it can be a sign of a deeper problem. Most importantly, a trained therapist can teach you how to deal with this from a medical standpoint.
Seclusion or Social Withdraw
It’s normal for a teen to be secretive to a certain degree. However, if they are uncharacteristically soft-spoken or unresponsive, don’t let this red flag go unnoticed. Furthermore, an even more obvious indication of a troubled teen is secluding themselves from family or social contact altogether. This behavior consists of locking themselves in their room for long periods or avoiding contact with friends or family. This is a dangerous sign of potential mental health problems which means they shouldn’t be left alone for too long. If you notice any of these signs, use discretion to communicate with your teenager and contact us today for therapeutic assistance.
Suffering School Grades
Failing grades are usually a sign of a deeper mental or emotional issue. This is especially the case if their grades are normally higher. Before getting upset about the grade, heed this indicator of emotional stress by inquiring if they are ok. Express your concern over their well-being before going straight to the failing grade. It may surprise your child to the point of opening up that your first response to failing grades wasn’t to reprimand the grade itself.
How to Help a Troubled Teenager?
To know how to help a troubled teenager, it takes therapeutic guidance to deal with such a difficult issue. However, there are things you can do at home right now to help the process. Consider any or all of the following tips on how to help your child.
Listen Supportively
We know you support your child in the best way possible. Let them know how much you support them by encouraging them to share their feelings while you actively listen. Utilize this time not to lecture, just to listen and emphasize with your words, body language, and tone. You’ll know by “feeling the room” how you should respond. Be mindful of your tone and how to respond to their feelings, concerns, and struggles.
Reassure Their Emotions
The teenage mind is very fragile and emotions run so rampant that they often feel abnormal or out of place. As you listen supportively, reassure them that their emotions are completely normal and understandable. Relate with them on a personal level by sharing a similar emotional story. Building these types of connections with your teenager can make all the difference in the world for their mental health. Most of the time the greatest remedy for a troubled child is a relatable, reassuring parent who doesn’t pass judgment.
Keep Them Active
Too much downtime or free time can be a bad thing for a teenager, especially if they may be struggling with depression. Keep their mind and body active in activities they enjoy. Whether it be sports, family time, or a special game night, keep them active with some sort of hobby or extracurricular activity. You may be surprised to discover that a large contributor to their troubled behavior may stem from an inactive lifestyle.
Make House Rules Clear
Whether they vocalize it or not, it’s a natural mental tendency to look to their parents for direction. Making house rules clear and concise, while following through provides an important structure for an otherwise chaotic teen universe. It doesn’t mean they will like all the rules by any means. Yet, whether they know it or not, it establishes parameters that are vital for their mental, physical, and emotional development.
Maintain a Level Head
This simply means that as frustrating as teenagers can be, it’s important to be slow to anger. Having an angered response will always push them farther away. Whether that anger is in tone, word, or expression, a child can always sense a parent’s animosity.
Even if it means having to step away momentarily, be sure to maintain a level head and an even-keeled approach to their behavior. The wise old proverb “a soft answer turneth away wrath” rings true in this case. Even if your child screams at you, a soft response rings louder to a child’s ears and heart than screaming back.
Blume Behavioral Health Can Help You and Your Troubled Teen
Blume Behavioral Health understands the difficulties of raising a troubled teen. Many times the only way to deal with the child properly is to get them the help they need. We are the open door to help you and your teenager heal from the emotional, physical, and mental turmoils of life. This is not only the greatest healing haven for your troubled child, it’s the perfect place to restore your familial relationships.
Daniel Duel MD is a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in General Adult Psychiatry with a focus on Addiction/Substance Use Disorders. As the Medical Director of an outpatient addiction clinic, he oversees a multidisciplinary team providing comprehensive care. He has extensive experience treating complex mood, psychosis, OCD, anxiety, and geriatric disorders. Dr. Duel is a UCLA graduate, trained in TMS and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
